Sorry I haven't posted much, this year has just been extremely overhelming so far and we're only 3 months into it for gods sake.
So, I do have some good news for you, or, well, for me... After my last post in november I started thinking about everything, if the life that I've always told myself I wanted to have, if it really is the life I wish for or if it's something that I've just assumed was what I wanted because I was told so... And it made me think and put a lot of things into perspective, I mean, the footprints I'm going to leave in this world may not be that big (I mean, with a size 3 uk it's quite limited) but that doesn't mean I shouldn't choose where I get to leave them. Because it's not the size of the footprint that matters, it's the thought, meaning and story behind the print that matters. Don't worry, I'm not becoming som sort of nun who's going to live in no-mans land, has no access to the internet or anything similar to that. I am going to the states next year, and I am going to be living with a lovely little family in Jacksonville, FL. And honestly? I just can't wait.
Back in november I'm not quite sure what came over me, it may have been the harsh words from a woman I've known 2/3 of my life or the thoughts of leaving my loved ones behind that made me reconsider my choiches in life, but I can now see that I wasn't ready to loose myself and what I stand for just because some stupid old hag didn't agree with my decisions, not that ever should be.
I've struggled my whole life with trying to find out who I am and what I wanted to achieve with my life, and I think the reason I've struggled with this is because I've let people tell me who I am, who I should become and what goals I would and wouldn't be able to achieve and I just think that the people around us these days often has such a strong opinion about others that we let it influence us way too much... wow, shit just got real deep, didn't it...? Well, my point with this incredibly long ramble is that for far too long I've tried to shame myself for wanting to do different things that the people around me wanted for me or wanted me to do, and I'm finally learning to accept that, no, I'm not perfect nor are my desicions, but they are my desicions, and it's me who shall make them, not others, and the same goes for you.
Until next time,
-Freja xx
♥
